Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz
by Gail Crowther
A vividly rendered and empathetic exploration of how two of the greatest poets of the 20th century—Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton—became bitter rivals and, eventually, friends.
Introduced at a workshop in Boston University led by the acclaimed and famous poet Robert Lowell, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton formed a friendship that would soon evolve into a fierce rivalry, colored by jealousy and respect in equal terms.
In the years that followed, these two women would not only become iconic figures in literature, but also lead curiously parallel lives haunted by mental illness, suicide attempts, self-doubt, and difficult personal relationships. With weekly martini meetings at the Ritz to discuss everything from sex to suicide, theirs was a relationship as complex and subversive as their poetry.
Based on in-depth research and unprecedented archival access, Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz is a remarkable and unforgettable look at two legendary poets and how their work has turned them into lasting and beloved cultural figures.
While Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz is a book title that may bring to mind jaunty, stylish afternoons sipping drinks with friends amidst luxury, perhaps brushing off and laughing over the efforts of men to spurn your writing careers, the lives of Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath are far from the glamour that image may suggest. Within the pages of Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz, Gail Crowther delves into the lives of these two groundbreaking poets, exploring their influences and impact with depth and respect while showcasing just how similar their paths were as they changed the writing landscape for women.
Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton are fascinating subjects. Women who were passionate about writing, Sexton and Plath became trailblazers, both as female writers balancing the expectations put on women in the 50s and 60s and as poets who pushed the boundaries of what were deemed acceptable topics. Crowther gives readers an understanding of the social context of the time as we are introduced to Sexton and Plath’s lives and work and come to learn all the reasons why these women defined the word “resilient” within their private lives and writing careers. It was illuminating and infuriating, these details that exposed the open misogyny of the age and specific burdens and fears that existed within these women—fears of marriage and motherhood being pushed on them and stifling their creativity, fears of not being able to balance those aspects of their lives with their ambition and desire to write. The social limitations were revealed through the lens of Plath’s and Sexton’s experiences of them, bringing the true impact of these expectations and constraints on women to life with the very real emotions these women felt. This exploration gave fantastic context to their work, as their work gave a fantastic understanding to their deepest emotions regarding these elements of their lives.
As the author points out, the lives and work of Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath are often boiled down to how they ended. The suicides of these women are well-documented pieces of pop culture and literary history—we associate their work with their long battles with mental health issues and their ultimate tragic ends. This book combats that stance (of coloring everything about their lives with the distinct hue of inevitable suicide) by showcasing and diving into the women’s lives in a well-rounded, fair way. The realities—including their struggles with family, marriage, mental health and more—were shared with compassion. Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz was an exploration of these women’s lives and influences and impact, but not in a way that was a staunch defense of them and their every decision—and rightfully so. They were imperfect people, with imperfect lives. To recognize the entirety of their lives (as much as outsiders can) for good or bad is not to erase or disrespect their work or legacies. Plath’s and Sexton’s lives are not up for review, but Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz certainly gives readers an exceptional glimpse into those lives.
Related: The Hidden Friendships of Female Writers | Literary History
This book is organized into sections that delve into Sexton’s and Plath’s lives in terms of the focus of the section—Family, Marriage, Mental Health, and Suicide among others. It was an interesting way of telling these women’s stories, as opposed to chronologically, that I enjoyed. It did mean that there was some repetition and I felt like the same things were being mentioned time and time again, but that was because they were necessary within each section, so I can’t really fault the book.
An unexpected element of this book was how little it was focused on Anne and Sylvia’s actual friendship. I had assumed, based on the title and the combining of these two women together in one book, that there was more to the friendship than there was. Instead, this book looks at each woman as an individual, their friendship just one of the many facets of their lives touched on. It was an interesting friendship—one built on a foundation not just of their love for writing but of remarkable similarities in early life, mental health struggles, and, of course, their positions as women writers challenging the status quo. It was a friendship that, though perhaps not remarkably close, was beneficial to both women. There’s no telling the impact they had on each other through their support and influence but also the healthy competition they provided each other.
This book—these women—were fascinating. In many ways, this was a very dark read. It was quite a terrible thing to feel as if I was getting to know these women, appreciating their incredible resilience and talent, and knowing how their stories would end. Reading about how they suffered and ultimately chose to end their lives was truly devastating. These women changed poetry and women’s writing in a time when women supporting women wasn’t encouraged, yet they supported and challenged each other immeasurably. At times, it was tough reading, dark enough that I was glad I only spent a weekend within its pages. But it was worth it. I myself am not much of a poetry reader, nor am I very familiar with either Sexton’s or Plath’s work—but you do not have to be in order to enjoy this book. These women made an immeasurable impact in the literary world for women. Their stories are worth reading regardless.